So my side of the family hasn't had family pictures since I was 15 I think... So that had to change. My sister found a photographer (sorry Whitney! It wasn't me!) and we found a date that worked, and it was done! Easy enough. Here are some of the shots...
This is my whole family
My parents and the grandkids
HAHA! I saw an idea like this on Pinterest, so I wanted to try it... I looooove how it turned out. Especially the third shot.
I started thinking about why I was feeling the way that I was; that I wasn't 'enough' of something... thought I wasn't sure what. So I took a step back and did an evaluation of everything in my life, and the way that it affected me.
With the things I could control, I did what I could. I removed some things from my life, I added other things... both have been a big help.
With things that I could not control, I turned to the Lord. I fasted and prayed, and presented Him with a solution, and asked for assistance in reaching the solution. I feel this is personal experience, but I want to share, because you never know when this could help someone else... My husband believes that there are some things in which we need to come to our own conclusions, and then ask the Lord if he feels that's a good answer. I agree with this because I don't think the Lord is only there to give us answers. I think He is also there to encourage us in a choice we've already made, to love us, and guide us when we ask for it... among millions of other things. Continuing on though- I knew that the solution that I needed in my life, right now, was strength. The strength to choose to be happy. To choose to forget the things that don't matter, and the strength to only look at here and now. After figuring this out, I fasted and prayed, telling Heavenly Father I just needed the strength to essentially just be my old self. Happy. Confident. Strong. I would have days where I was my old self, but I was having more days where I wasn't feeling right. I would be quiet or mad or some unexplainable feeling that was just frustrating me further... So I simply asked for Him to help keep me strong in my choices. I WANT to be happy.
*quick disclaimer about being happy - I am extremely happy in my life. I love my husband, I love my baby, and I love my house. When I talk about being unhappy, that's referring to me struggling purely on the inside - with my self esteem, or my lack of craftiness (dumb, I know), or that my body wasn't the same, just dumb little things like that. But some days they'd all hit at once, and I'd feel pretty useless.
But I know that Heavenly Father has heard me, and He's helping me. It's really an amazing feeling, knowing that I don't have to bear my burdens alone.
I'm not sure what I would do without the gospel in my life.
So today is turning out to be one of those days where I feel like I'm just not enough.
Not enough of what? I don't know. But it's so easy to feel like this... and to wallow in the self pity of something I don't even understand. I don't know if it's that I'm not spiritual enough, skinny enough, happy enough, pretty enough, or what. Maybe it's all of those things. Who knows?