Picture Post

This is my niece's door. Obsess much?

This is the infamous Beiber that gave me a heart attack. But this is Madi posing, not Ciera.

This is my niece's super cute headboard my sister made. It's all fabric.

This is my sister's dog. His name is Maximus, and I love him. He's a boy, but the groomer must not have noticed....

My niece Molly. She's about 6 months, and TONS of fun. When she's not screaming.

Giving up on life?

Have I ever thought about giving up on life? No. Not really. I've jokingly said "I hope that I die, then you'll feel like the biggest assface ever." Which probably isn't really that funny, but I was making a point at the time. I've thought about others, and why they would take their lives. Because honestly, it's not a solution in the least. There was a boy on our street that hung himself, and his dad found him. His uncle tried to lift him up. His sister saw him. Those are three people that will be haunted all their lives. The girl that broke up with him the night before he took his life... she'll have to carry that around with her forever.

Now on the other hand, I've thought about taking other people's lives. Hahahahahahaha in fact... I was chatting with my best friend at work, and this was before we were really friends, but one of the first things we talked about was how I wished I could hurt people with my mind. But I feel like that's what 1-800-Contacts does to people. I wanted to kill people through the phone on a daily basis. But don't worry, I've mostly passed that phase of my life.

A funny (but true) story

So, I need to give a little background for this story.

I love scary movies. I watch them all the time, and therefore I have a somewhat demented thought process. I think scary things, all that. I don't really get scared... I just think the 'what if' kind of things.

My shower is shaped like a rectangle.... here is the layout.

My shower door is frosted, so you can't necessarily see through it, but you can see color, and a blurry shape... etc.

OKAY.

So, my niece was texting me saying that she had something to show me, and she was SO excited about it. She was asking when I'd be home, if I'd left yet, etc. So I told her I'd be home around 10 pm, and she was fine with that. She'd just wait until I was home to show me.

Well, Justin and I left his parents house, and got home around 10. I yelled for Ciera when I walked in the door, but Adam (my brother in law) said that she was in the shower. I said to have her come down and show me when she got out of the shower, and we'd leave the doors open. So we left the door at the top of our stairs open, and the door into our place open. The dog followed us down so we played with him a little, but then I had to go to the bathroom, so I walked in, and turned the light on.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a guy standing in my shower. I screamed louder than I have ever screamed in all of my life. As the scream was coming out of my mouth and giving Justin a heart attack, my thoughts start processing WHAT I'm seeing.

Thought #1- The guy isn't moving.

Thought #2- He looks an awful lot like Justin Beiber.

Thought #3- Oh my land, Ciera must have gotten a life-size cutout of Justin Beiber, and it's in my shower.

Well. That's exactly what happened. Ciera babysat that night for her aunt, and that was how they paid her.

I'm pretty sure that shenanigan took 17 years off my life.

Day 5

What have I learned in the past month.

Well, I've learned that I need to let things go. Being pissed off about them isn't a solution. I can either be proactive and try to figure out a solution that is realistic, or I can forget about it. Which I think is the easiest thing, because it's usually just me that feels that there is a problem. It'll make my life a lot nicer for myself and Justin if I just drop it. =)

I've learned that change is good. It's not always expected, but it's sometimes necessary.

I've started cooking. I signed up for e-mealz, and I'll tell you what, I've never cooked so much in all of my life. I am the youngest in my family, so there were a lot of nights that my parents and I would eat cereal for dinner, or mush for dinner... it was simple. Justin on the other hand is pure man. He wants meat. So, THAT'S been an adjustment. We've been following this plan, and it's been SO nice. It plans out the meals for the week, there is a grocery list to follow, which then helps us save money.

I've learned more things, it's just hard to sit down and write it all. Especially because I'm sure there are things I have learned, but just haven't recognized it.

Day 4

The reason I'm alive.

I have NO idea. But I'm here for a reason.

When I was 8, we were in Lake Powell and our boat was tied up to the dock. We had the cover on our boat because it was April,which turned out to be windy and cold. Everyone was taking showers because it was too cold to jump into the water and get back out, so we had the shower running, which meant the boat was on. I remember laying down underneath, where my parents slept. They wanted to change, so they told me to go lay up on the bench. I got up, and told my mom that I was dizzy, but she told me to just go up and lay down. So I did, and that's all I remember. I guess my sister Lori was yelling at me because they wanted the towel that I was wrapped up in, and as she was yelling at me, she noticed that my eyes looked weird, and yelled for my dad. He immediately knew what was wrong. Carbon monoxide poisoning. He came running up, grabbed me, and ran out on the deck. As he came running out on the deck, a ranger came running out with a tank of oxygen. My dad gave me a blessing, and I woke up. I wasn't making sense though, because my mom was telling me that we were going to fly in a helicopter, and I was asking if we were going to fly like a bird... something like that. They drove my mom and I up a really steep hill to the helipad, and I was life flighted to the nearest hospital. I remember my doctor's outfit, and him pushing on my chest to get all the air out, and I remember being on oxygen... but other than that, I don't remember much.

There were too many circumstances that worked out in my benefit, that if they had been different, I'd either have serious brain damage, or I'd have died. Just things like my sister wanting the towel, my dad instantly knowing what it was, the ranger coming with oxygen... if these things hadn't of happened, I may not be here.

So on that note... I know there's a reason I'm still here. I just don't know what yet. =)

Day #3

I'm going to maybe do a couple of these a day.... in order to catch up =)

Something that makes me feel better.

Justin makes me feel better =) until he says mean things.
My family can make me feel better.
Shopping initially makes me feel better, but then I see my bank account.. and the lack of funds...
My dog makes me feel better, until he breathes in my face and I want to die.
I have a cute guinea pig that makes me feel better when he squeaks at me.
Cadbury eggs make me feel a hellofa lot better.
Writing makes me feel better. Even if it's meaningless, just the action of typing, writing, whatever it is to get thoughts out of my head... it's a form of therapy for me.

Day #2.

So I definitely took a little vacation from blogging. One thing led to another and I was just busy.

What can be found in my purse?

Well, it depends on what purse I'm using. One of my purses is a bit like a Mary Poppins bag and it can hold pretty much anything. Then I have a smaller one that just holds my wallet and pencil bag. But I always have a notebook, just in case. There's chapstick, lip gloss, and usually a snack. Especially now. A bag of Life cereal, a Chex bar, and Alvin & The Chipmunks fruit snacks.